Keep Your God damned hands off my Bible

If you didn’t see Colbert last night’s interview of Conservopedia’s Andy Schlafly, that touched on the their infamous, on-going ‘conservative translation’ of the Bible, see here:
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Or go see it here:

Some of their ‘guiding principles’ for the ‘translation’ (I doubt it is actually a real translation, ’cause, you know, they would have to consider the original languages):

3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level

7. Express Free Market Parables: explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

It is one thing to be theologically ‘conservative’, its entirely different to pull this crap — work for a populist, Americanized politically conservative Bible for politically conservative ends. Who the hell is the best of the public? Who in the public actually knows Hebrew, among other Semitic languages, and Greek?

Keep your God damned caesarpapist, lying hands off my neither liberal, nor conservative Bible. Never mind that your hermeneutics suck. The parables teach free market parables?! Bwuahahahahahah. Under the Roman Empire?! Ahahahahhaah.

And Yahweh is liberal wordiness?! Please tell me how you intend to not ‘dumb down’ the Bible but still remove the divine’s name, and all the heritage within?